Sex symbol, caring mother, career woman, and loving wife—how can one person fill all of these roles?
For much of American history, a woman’s proper sphere was thought to be within her own home.
This restrictive cult of domesticity emphasized that submissiveness, obedience and piety were key traits for a woman to exude around her husband.
Women were considered too delicate and too weak to engage in activities other than caretaking and nurturing.
Today, however, the cult of domesticity has expanded. Instead of being limited to her own home, the modern-day successful woman is expected to be capable in the office, kitchen, and bedroom.
Many females feel pressured to not only live-up to the outdated 1950s image of a perfect mother and wife who fulfills her family’s every need but also to excel in a high-power career.
Although women are still the primary caretakers in most American homes, many are also pursuing time-consuming, stressful careers.
As the expectations of women have expanded and our opportunities have increased immensely, the role that many women feel obligated to play as wives and mothers has changed very little in comparison.
“A lot of women I see don’t prioritize,” said Shelby Harris, director of the Behavioral Sleep Medicine Program at Montefiore Medical Center. “Is it important to have dinner on the table at night? Yes. Must it be a five-course meal? Absolutely not” (New York Times).
The effect of the perfectionist tendencies of many working mothers is detrimental to their own health.
“Women are really paying their price in sleep for their current role in society,” said Dr. Meir Kryger, director of sleep medicine research and education at Gaylord Hospital in Wallingford, Connecticut (New York Times).
The anxiety that accompanies excessive multi-tasking and over-commitment has led many women to turn to anti-depressants and sleep aids.
In a study conducted in 2007, the National Sleep Foundation found that three in every ten women use some kind of sleeping aid.
The rate of sleeping pill intake by women has increased dramatically over the last two decades. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, “from 1988-1994 through 2005-2008, the rate of antidepressant use in the United States among white women has increased by 400 percent”.
While sleeping aid and anxiety pill use by men has also increased, it has been far less significant.
Three out of four insomniacs are female (National Sleep Foundation). So why does this disparity between prescription drug use by women and men exist?
Perhaps this is due to the impossible standards the media and the general public have set for women.
“Most of the time I get stuck mulling over the logistics of how everything’s going to get done perfectly,” said Ms. Cheryl Downs McCoy, a working mother of three.
The media are critical of the most successful women. If a woman succeeds in one area of her life, she is attacked for not performing equivalently in another.
Whether a careerist, a stay at home mom, or someone who finds room for both work and motherhood, we should celebrate the successes of women instead of dissecting their flaws.